In today’s no-shit-Sherlock news, this newspaper reports on a Harvard study that finds parrots can dance and aren’t faking it. (It would seem to me that faking it would be a much greater marvel, but I’ve learned never to quibble with a newspaper.)

The photo is of our regular contributor, our feature Crazy-Dancing-Ray-Charles-Loving-Cockatoo, who appears here regularly. He’s a way better dancer than that one in Boston.

Anybody who owns or is acquainted with a parrot knows they love to dance to music. A nice 2/4 beat will usually do, but our macaw sways to a waltz like a drunk stevedore.

New flash: Parrots also talk!

Our African grey also sings the coloratura notes from the Queen of the Night aria in the Magic Flute, but very, very badly and she’s faking the high F’s.

Oh, and when I’m traveling, I also use Skype to videoconference with the birds and my wife. The parrots get the idea of videoconferencing.

Oh, and by the way, re the comments on that linked-to newspaper article from people who say they want a dancing parrot, too. Seriously, a parrot is a major responsibility — they live to be over 50, and bond intensely with their humans and require a lot of attention. They’re like three-year-olds who never grow up (but on the other hand, you don’t have to pay college tuition). A parrot is not to be undertaken lightly. Seriously.

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